Wing Sauce, Tortilla Chips and Cooler Geometry: 7 Tips For Having The Perfect Superbowl Spread

 

Super Bowl Sunday is practically upon us and it’s hard not to be excited for one of America’s best unofficial holidays. The NFL’s championship contest provides sports fans with a reason to celebrate one of its country’s most beloved games. It brings together millions of people, and like most other holidays food is a big part of the festivities. Those chosen to host said event have a lot of responsibility placed on their shoulders and I am here to ease some of the pressure and provide people with seven sure-fire tips to a stress free and enjoyable Super Bowl party.

1. Wings are a must, but any Super Bowl novice knows this. The real thing every part-planner must keep in mind is sauce choice. Just because you and your friend Bojangles love having your wing sauce set off a blazing inferno in your mouth, doesn’t mean all of your guests are down with that. A more mild sauce is always a good idea and, on top of that, barbeque and teriyaki wings aren’t a bad idea either. Just make sure there are options, or you’ll end up eating wings for the next month.

*Leftover wings actually transition perfectly into my second point.

2. Make sure you get a final head count of who is coming before purchasing any of your food. If the food runs out too fast because you planned for 15 people and 40 showed up your guests are going to leave the party wishing they had packed a sandwich. And at the same time you don’t need a gallon of artichoke dip if only eight people are going to be coming over. This might sound preachy but seriously better safe than sorry. I mean let’s be honest, Vienna sausages aren’t going to be any better Monday morning.

3. This is actually a rather simple tip. Get tortilla chips, and plenty of them. Everyone likes them and they can be used in any dip. If you find yourself debating between a bag of Lays and a bag of Tostitos, stop what you are doing and imagine salsa on a potato chip. Boom! Point made…


4. Have TV’s in multiple rooms. With munching being such a big part of Super Bowl Sunday, people are going to be constantly flocking from the viewing room to the food table. In doing so they are taking a chance on missing a big play in the game. Alleviate their fear and put a TV in the food room and I promise you that your guests will be appreciative.

 *Warning: by using this tip you may inadvertently be forced to do the hosting every year because you will look like such a pro to your friends.


5. Get lots of beer. I believe this tip needs no further explanation

6. Know the geometry of your cooler. Every college kid knows that a standard back pack can fit 30 beers. I believe it is a scientific fact and one that I have tested time and time again. But on the big day you’ll need to know the dimensions of your coolers while also making sure to account for ice. Nothing is worse than sucking down a warm brewski. Even if everything else goes swimmingly on the big day, people will remember if you served warm beer. Get big coolers, lots of ice and keep that Igloo stocked up.

7. It’s a party, so act like it. Nobody wants an overbearing host that tweaks out every time something goes wrong. So what if the the wings are taking longer than expected? So what if your Spaniard friend Lorenzo just spilled guacamole on your couch? It’s not the end of the world. The wings will eventually be done and couch cushions generally have two sides. Be cool and you will be smooth sailing the whole night.


*If you follow these tips, avocado on your sofa will be the only thing you have to worry about. These tricks of the trade are bona fide gems. If used properly, I will personally guarantee you a sore arm from all of the high fives you will receive.